Light in the Dark
by killawatt
Summary: In order to keep the Uchiha property, Sasuke must make the effort to re-establish his clan. There is only one female he trusts, but is he willing to share all of his past in order to make it work? And is she willing to accept what life as a woman is like in a clan? SasuxSaku
1. Chapter 1

At 13 I couldn't write a story to save my life. Let's see if 10 years later I can actually write one.

A little headcanon I've had for awhile now. Takes place after The Great Shinobi War, and obviously before Boruto begins.

 **THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

With that… let's begin!

Uchiha Sasuke entered the office of the Hokage, or more specifically, the Sixth Hokage. In front of him he thought he would find the man who mentored him eight years ago.

Instead, he found an empty seat.

With a sigh of exasperation, Sasuke stood waiting for several minutes, which in his experience, could easily turn to hours. A sudden _poof_ occurred, and the masked Sixth Hokage stood at his right side.

"Sorry, I lost track of time helping a lost schoolboy find the Academy-"

"My time is not infinite, Hokage-sama" Sasuke responded curtly, evidently irritated by his former sensei's lack of punctuality.

"Right, well then Sasuke, why don't you sit down? There are a few things I would like to discuss with you." Kakashi motioned his hand to a seat across from the desk of the Hokage. Sasuke could not recall any time that his former sensei had suggested he sat down to discuss something. Both men took their seats and the Hokage folded his hands together.

"Tell me Sasuke, how have you been?" The Uchiha glared, not making any effort to answer the seemingly meaningless question. Several pregnant moments passed and the Hokage let out a heavy sigh.

"My question has meaning, Sasuke. Don't make me give it an order for you to answer it." Kakashi stated flatly, never breaking eye contact. Kakashi was one of the few who did not feel intimidated by the last Uchiha's presence, and as Hokage asserting dominance in conversation was often necessary. Especially with notoriously difficult people.

Sasuke closed his eyes in annoyance. "I am fine, Hokage-sama. I fail to see how my well-being is relevant to this meeting." Although unclear from behind the perpetually covered face, the corners of Kakashi's eyes moved, indicating the copy-nin was smiling.

"Actually, Sasuke, your well-being is what this entire meeting is about. And I was giving you the courtesy of hearing it from me before you heard it from the village police force." Sasuke stiffened instantly. He was hardly in the village to begin with, instead finding threats to Konoha, reporting them back to the Hokage, and responding as the village saw fit. He knew he was on precarious terms with most of the village's population, so why he was of interest to the village police was beyond him.

"And before you get too worried, it does not have to do with the numerous treasonous acts you performed against the village in the past." Kakashi said lazily. Although he tried his best to hide it, a slight release of tension was evident in the Uchiha's shoulders. "This is regarding restoring your bloodline, your clan, and according you the village police the land technically owned by the Uchiha. Which amounts to you."

Sasuke took a moment to process what Kakashi had just imparted on him.

"Why is the village police concerned with land owned by the Uchiha?" Sasuke asked flatly, making every effort to mask every thought and emotion running through his brain.

"Before the massacre, the Uchiha were moved to the edge of the village. For more than a decade we have, for lack of better phrasing, not cared about that land, and more so left it as a memorial. Now we have a high influx of refugees from other towns and villages. The village police have been tasked with dealing with these refugees, and want to reclaim that land as village property. Their strongest reasoning for doing so has been that there has been no effort to re-establish the clan." The Hokage's words lit a fire in the Uchiha.

"I am nineteen years old and the sole survivor of the clan! Do they expect me to have every house filled by now?" Sasuke asked sharply, his temper betraying him.

"The village police, and I do not agree with this whatsoever, claim that you have been of reproductive age for the past seven years, and if you wanted to re-establish the clan you would have done so already." Sasuke involuntarily shivered at the Hokage's words, stopping himself from reliving flashbacks from many years past. Pushing them to the back recesses of his mind, Sasuke regained his composure. To the average shinobi, they would have never noticed a break in his usual indifferent stance. Kakashi, however, was no average shinobi. "Something wrong, Sasuke?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered sharply. "The village seems to think my priority should be creating offspring, not making sure the village does not fall victim to threat again."

"Why can't both reach the same objective?" Kakashi inquired. Sasuke was silent for a moment. "The Uchiha have always been formidable shinobi. I don't need to tell you that. Not only the Sharingan, but their ability to adapt to any opponent is something not seen in any other clan. Individual shinobi yes, but as a clan the Uchiha were the most adaptable. Simply put, it was hard to find an opponent they could not adapt to." Kakashi saw the flare of anger in Sasuke's eyes, despite how hard he tried to suppress it. "Sasuke, I am giving you a choice."

Sasuke glared at his former sensei, eyes narrowing. "I fail to see the choice in the matter." Kakashi sighed heavily.

"If you take a wife now, I can make the argument to the village police that your aim is to re-stablish you clan. I can buy you time. I don't want to see what is rightfully yours taken away from you, but I also have to think of what is best for the village." Sasuke was silent. "The other option is you lose your former home and clan's homes."

"Not an option," Sasuke spat.

"Well then, I suggest you start talking to some of your female friends. There is only so much time I can buy," Kakashi said sternly. He looked down at his notes briefly, and when he glanced up the Uchiha was gone.

Sakura was at the end of a twenty four hour shift. Normally she only had to do a twenty four hour shift every two weeks, but Mizaki got the stomach virus, Toho got the flu, and a supervisor was required to be on duty at all times. Even with the six years of experience, twenty four hour shifts took a toll on anyone.

It was seven in the morning and she was finishing her last set of rounds with a new set of medic nin apprentices. Since The Great Shinobi War, Sakura had pushed for more senior level medic nins to find apprentices, especially those who were either genin or those who had just become chunin. This way students received more practical training.

Sakura and five apprentices approached the bed of a shinobi who had been injured en-route to Sunagakure.

"Daiki, where was this man injured?"

"Uhh… en route to uh… Sunagakure Haruno-san," Daiki stuttered out. Sakura smiled.

"Right Daiki. Aki, what is the reason for his injuries?"

"Genjutsu trap, he is in a state of mental shock. A form of post-traumatic stress disorder, Haruno-san," Aki answered, not missing a beat. Again, Sakura smiled at the group of apprentices. They were eager to learn, and studied patients' charts while off duty. During rounds they never wanted to be wrong.

After all, a medic nin being wrong meant the difference between life and death.

"Right you are, Aki. But it is one thing to diagnose, it is another to treat. Yua, how would you treat this patient?" Sakura asked. Yua has always been a student to hang in the back. At thirteen years old, she was the youngest apprentice accepted by the hospital. Looking at her Academy grades, she was a stand out by all respects. Her confidence, however, required work. Her sensei, Inuzuka Kiba, swore up and down that she would be a great medic nin due to her attention to detail and diligence. But, to be a medic nin, confidence was a must.

"Umm… SSRIs and cognitive behavioral therapy?" Yua responded, her voice wavering. Sakura frowned.

"Is that the answer, or is it not?" Sakura asked sternly. The girl stuttering out an incoherent response. Sakura waved her hand. "Rounds are complete for the day. You all get to your duties, or if you're like me and this is your last task of the day, please go home and get some rest. I assure you the hospital will be waiting for your full health and attention in twelve hours." All five apprentices turned to leave, and Sakura sighed. "Yua, stay for a minute please." The girl walked sheepishly up to Sakura, her head hung low.

"I'm sorry Haruno-san, I should have known the right answer and-"

"Yua, stop," Sakura cut in, putting a hand on the young kunoichi's shoulder. "You gave a perfectly correct answer, one I would expect anyone to give based on just reading a patient's chart." Yua lit up at the praise. "My concern is how unsure of yourself you were. In the field or in the operating room, you have to be sure of your training, your experience, and sometime what your instincts are telling you is right." Yua hung her head again.

"Yes, Haruno-san. I understand. I will try better to… trust my instinct." Sakura smiled and released her hand from Yua's shoulder.

"Good, or else I would have Kiba-kun get on your case," Sakura added with a wink, getting a chuckle out of the young kunoichi.

"If that were the case… I think he would have Akamaru follow me around licking me whenever I got something right!" Both Yua and Sakura laughed. After a moment, Sakura stood up straighter, switching from friend to mentor with seamless ease.

"Go home and get some rest, I promise the hospital will always have plenty for you to do and will require your full attention and energy," Sakura said sternly. Yua nodded sharply.

"Yes, Haruno-san. I will see you soon." Yua turned and walked towards the hospital locker room, no doubt gathering her belongings before heading home to rest after a long shift.

Speaking of which, Sakura realized it had been about thirty six hours since she last slept. And while she had certainly run on longer amounts without sleep, she certainly preferred getting a solid six hours every twenty four if she could help it.

Waiting to make sure all five of the apprentices had either left for the day or moved on to their next task, Sakura entered the locker room to retrieve her things. While she had her own office on the top floor, she preferred to keep the things she needed to leave on the ground floor where most of the patients were. That way she could do one last run through of her patients before she left and didn't get distracted by the endless amount of paperwork that seemed to land on her desk.

Sakura slipped out of her medic gear into her street gear, a simple red dress with the Haruno crest and sandals, she gathered her things to leave, only to realize a dark haired, Sharingan wielding shinobi had been sitting in the corner the whole time.

"We need to chat."


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Chapter 2 to prove to you guys that this isn't a one and done sort of thing! Luckily I have my husband to bounce ideas off of, encourage me to write, and give me gin and tonic to get the creative juices flowing :D

 **THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

With that… let's begin!

There was no reason Sakura should be flustered that Sasuke was sitting in the corner of the locker room, likely there the entire time she had gotten changed.

Since Sasuke had returned to Konoha there were several times where Kakashi had sent her, Sasuke, and Naruto on missions. And often times on these missions privacy was not an option, and especially as a medic to the two boys there was a fair chance Sakura knew both their bodies better than they did. All of those occasions though had been with the knowledge that 'yes, I am looking at you naked right now, and that's okay because you just cut your entire thigh and need medical attention'.

Sasuke must have seen her visibly tense and let out a heavy sigh.

"Relax, Sakura. I wasn't watching you get changed." Sakura wasn't sure whether or not to feel relieved or insulted, but she quickly dismissed the latter, smiling slightly.

"Well, if you're not here to watch me get changed, why have you decided to meet in the locker room of the hospital, of all places? Usually I have to drag you and Naruto here as you guys are gushing blood," Sakura said playfully. Judging by Sasuke's composure her joke did not lighten up the situation.

"I need to talk to you, but I didn't want to interrupt your shift. So I waited." Sasuke responded, shrugging his shoulders ever so slightly. Sakura stared at him with a confused expression.

"Sasuke-kun, it's a quarter past seven in the morning. How long have you been here?" Sakura inquired. All of her years knowing him she always knew he was the antithesis of a morning person.

"Since five last night." Sakura's jaw dropped. What on Earth was so important that Sasuke would wait all night to talk to her?

"Sasuke-kun, if it was so important why didn't you just grab me from the hospital floor? Or at the very least ask when I would be off duty?"

"You were teaching your students, I didn't want to interrupt." _And was doing an excellent job of it. Patient and firm. She would make an excellent mother…_ Sasuke cut off his own thoughts before they could devolve further. He still needed to talk to her. "Now that I've waited over fourteen hours, we really do need to talk."

Sakura took a step towards him, studying his face intently. As hard as he tried to be the stone-cold, stoic shinobi Sakura could see the slight anticipation in his onyx eyes. She softened her expression and extended her hand to help him up. It was a simple gesture, but it was one that meant she was willing to listen.

"Okay Sasuke-kun, where do you want to talk? The hospital locker room is hardly-" Her sentence was cut off by Sasuke grabbing her hand and transporting them to a cliff that overlooked the water to the East. The sun was still rising, tinting the sky a faint pink. The sea was gentle, the sounds of the small waves crashing into the rocks below was hardly noticeable. Sakura gasped slightly at the scenery.

"Sasuke-kun, where are we?" Sakura stared out at the sea, then back at Sasuke, who was also staring out at the water.

"My… mother used to take me here. On days Father and Itachi were off training and I was too young to join," Sasuke responded in a low voice. Sakura could count on one hand the number of times Sasuke brought up Itachi since The Great Shinobi War, and he certainly never brought up his family.

"What would you and your mother do here?" Sakura pressed, eager for the opportunity to learn more about his life before his entire family was taken from him.

Regardless of his motives, in secret Sakura still blamed Itachi for all that happened to Sasuke.

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, and then Sakura saw what looked like the corner of his lips turn upward ever so slightly.

"We would come here with rice balls. We would eat them, and then I would see how far I could throw different rocks into the water. I thought if I threw them hard enough they would go all the way across the sea." Sakura let out a soft laugh, smiling at the image of a young, happy Sasuke trying his hardest to throw pebbles. Regaining her composure, Sakura stared him straight in the eyes. Like Kakashi, she was one of the few not afraid to hold eye contact with him, and of those even fewer did not feel intimidated by him.

"Sasuke-kun, why did you really bring me here?" She saw his dark eyes waver slightly; he was anxious. That was an emotion she rarely saw out of him, and her brow furrowed in concern. "Sasuke-kun, are you sick? Did something happen on your last mission? How can-"

"Sakura, stop." Sasuke cut her off, suddenly irritated by her jumping to conclusions. He wanted to make sure he said everything right, and conveyed everything as clearly as possible. Her jumping to every conclusion in the book would not help. He closed his eyes and forced his face to soften. "This is very important, and I need you to listen to everything I have to say. Then you can ask me whatever you want, okay?" Sakura nodded. Sasuke took a slow, deep breath.

"I had a meeting with Hokage-sama yesterday. The village police is having trouble finding homes and space for all of the refugees coming in the past several years. The village police want to take over that land again." Sakura opened her mouth to protest, but Sasuke's stare made her close her mouth and continue listening. "Kakashi said their reasoning is that I have not made an effort to re-establish the clan."

"You're eighteen years old how-"

"Sakura," Sasuke cut in, his expression all but saying 'yes thank you for stating the obvious'. Sakura quieted down again. "Kakashi gave me an option. I could give up the land, or I could take a wife and begin repopulating the Uchiha clan." Sasuke paused, knowing Sakura would interject. To his surprise, she didn't, and just stared at him. Several moments passed.

"Well… go on." Sakura said cautiously, making every effort to mask the hundreds of emotions and thoughts running through her head. _He's telling me he's chosen a wife to make it easier on me. I suppose it's easier to hear from him than the gossip on the street…_

"Sakura, I want you to help me repopulate my clan."

Sakura's eyes widened, for once not having anything to say. Sasuke took it as his opportunity.

"Sakura, this would not be easy for you. This is out of duty, not a fairytale love story. Your duty, our duty, would be to restore the Uchiha name. I am asking you to give up a lot. I am asking you to have children before you are in your peak shinobi years. I am asking you to put the fate of the Uchiha, your loyalty to the clan, first." Sasuke said sternly. Sakura shocked expression did not change. Sasuke exhaled a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

"I am asking you to help me." Sakura shoulders relaxed slightly. "I am not asking for an answer right now, and I fully expect you need to think-"

"Yes," Sakura said softly. It was Sasuke's turn to be surprised. "I will be your wife, and I will help restore honor to the Uchiha name." _You deserve to be happy for once in your life._

"Sakura, this is not something you have to decide on right now. You can think about it. This would change your entire life," Sasuke said, trying to reinforce how serious of a commitment she was about to make.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura began, her voice soft. "I was willing to leave the village at thirteen years old if it meant helping you. I spent years chasing after you, wanting you to come home and be a dysfunctional family with Naruto, Kakashi, and I again. I have fought by your side and want to continue to do so. And if that means helping you regain your clan, a family, I will be by your side through that." Sasuke stared at her, utterly speechless. "I know you don't love me, not in a romantic way at least, and that's okay. Your clan is everything to you, and seeing you, Naruto, and Kakashi happy is all I need." Sakura smiled, her eyes closed. Sasuke began rummaging in his pockets, and pulled out something in his fist.

Sakura looked at him inquisitively as he opened his hand. In the palm of his hand was an onyx ring, with a red jewel in the center, not unlike the red of the Sharingan. Sakura gasped slightly, knowing what this ring signified.

"This ring symbolizes devotion to the Uchiha clan. That you live to protect those in the clan, and those in the clan live to protect you. All of the women of the Uchiha clan wear it," Sasuke grabbed Sakura's hand. "This was my mother's." He said softly, almost inaudible as he slipped the ring on her left ring finger. Sasuke, not looking Sakura in the eyes, could hear her soft sniffles. Unsure of what to do, he rested his hand on her shoulder, and she leaned me face into his hand, cradling the hand with the ring.

"Thank you," she whispered, fearing tears would fall faster if she spoke more. Sasuke gave a soft squeeze on her shoulder and released her, turning to leave.

"I have business I have to attend to."

As he was walking away, Sakura yelled out, "Hey Sasuke-kun!" He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Does that make this our first date?" Sakura said with a smile. Sakura could see the smirk on Sasuke's face.

"Hn. I suppose so."


	3. Chapter 3

Salutations readers! Here is Chapter 3, and many thanks to those who have reviewed! They always make me smile, and constructive criticism is always welcome as well!

 **THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

And with that… let's begin!

Sasuke opened the door to the place he had not been in in over a decade.

His parent's, no, _his_ home.

Crossing through the front door it was clear nothing had changed since he had last been there. Any evidence that killings occurred here were absent. Instead, the place looked like it had on any other day. Picturesque enough to almost pretend nothing had ever happened.

Almost, but not quite enough.

The cushions were just _too_ perfectly kept for a family with two active boys. Instead of the smell of food cooking, the air smelled stale and dusty.

It was a perfectly kept, empty house.

Walking through the foyer into the living room, Sasuke saw that certain parts of the home had been left imperfect, and smiled at the tower of boxes in the living room.

" _Aniki! We have to protect the castle!" A six year old Sasuke yelled, he short legs running from corner to corner of the living room. He was thrilled to have his older brother home for a few days in between ANBU missions. Itachi had just entered ANBU a few months ago, but he had quickly become a member who was sought for the most taxing, demanding missions. Often times Sasuke would go weeks without seeing his older brother, and when he came home Sasuke was always eager to play._

 _Itachi smiled, and although he was exhausted from his mission that he had gotten back from no less than fifteen minutes ago and still needed to shower, he crouched down so he was eye level with his younger brother and said, "Okay, what do we need to do?" Sasuke's face lit up._

" _There are bad people who want to steal all of the gold from the king!" Sasuke yelled, eyes wide. Itachi cocked his head._

" _Is he a good king, Sasuke?" Sasuke nodded his head vigorously. "Do his people love him?" More eager nods. "Would the king do anything to protect his people, and the people do anything to protect their king?"_

" _Yeah, yeah!" Sasuke was jumping up and down from excitement. Itachi gave him a serious look, and Sasuke quieted._

" _Well then, the only answer is…." Sasuke was quiet, looking at Itachi intensely. "We save the castle!" Itachi picked up Sasuke in his arms, running towards the tower of boxes Sasuke created as the 'castle', Sasuke giggling and clinging to his older brother._

Sasuke shook his head of the memory and proceeded into the kitchen, and muscle memory told him to expect the smell of rice balls in the air. Instead Sasuke ran his hand across the island in the center of the kitchen, picking up a decade's worth of dust in a single pass.

" _Sasuke! Itachi! Time for dinner!" Uchiha Mikoto yelled out the back kitchen door. A four year old Sasuke turned to his brother; they had just been playing Keep-Away with a ball for the past hour._

" _Aniki hungry?" Sasuke asked while jumping up to Itachi, trying to reach the ball held over his head. Sasuke pouted, and Itachi brought the ball back to his eye level, tossing it back and forth between his hands, Sasuke's eyes darting back and forth. As he reached out for the ball, Itachi flicked the ball up above his head, and Sasuke let out an angry noise._

" _Aniki not fair!" Sasuke pouted. At nine years old and already a genin, Itachi towered over Sasuke._

" _Watch closely, little brother. You'll see the secret," Itachi said with a coy smile. Sasuke narrowed his eyes._

" _Again Aniki!" Itachi began darting the ball between his hands at Sasuke's eye level. Instead of staring at the ball, this time Sasuke stared right into Itachi's eyes. He saw Itachi's eyes never leave his, until…_

" _Ah ha‼" Sasuke yelled, leaping to the ball right as it began to ride, wrapping his arms around it. "You moved your eyes and I knew!" Itachi smiled._

" _Well done, little brother. Someone's eyes tell you all you need to know." Itachi said with a wink, poking Sasuke's forehead. Sasuke scrunched up his face._

" _What mean, Aniki?"_

" _Boys! Dinner!" Mikoto yelled again, and Itachi scooped up Sasuke into his arms._

" _Come on, little brother. I think Mother made your favorite tonight!" Sasuke yelled gleefully in Itachi's arms._

Wiping off the rest of the large island of the dust, Sasuke began walking up the stairs, caught at the intersection between his own room, Itachi's, and his parents'. He proceeded to his own room.

 _It was two nights after the Uchiha massacre and Sasuke was still hiding in the closet of his room, afraid to come out, afraid to let anyone know he was alive. Itachi left him alive, but what if he changed his mind and came back and killed him, just like the rest of his family? Like the rest of his clan? Like all of his friends? Going on fifty hours without sleep, plus the feeling of seventy two hours from his brother's Tsukuyomi, the eight year old Sasuke was hallucinating and paranoid from the lack of sleep._

 _With his arms wrapped against his body in the corner of the closet, Sasuke vowed to never leave the safety of the closet._

" _Itachi can't find me here. Itachi can't find me here. Itachi can't find me here…" He continued to whisper to himself._

 _Sasuke heard the door of his room open._

" _Hey! I think someone is in here!" He heard someone yell. Sasuke buried his face in his hands and fell to his side. I am going to die, he thought, and began sobbing uncontrollably. Suddenly, the closet door opened._

" _Don't kill me please!" Sasuke screamed, tears running down his face. In front of him stood a Konoha shinobi, what kind, and who, Sasuke never knew. But in his sleep deprived, panicked state the man looked like Itachi, and his eyes looked like the Mangekyo Sharingan. "Please don't send me back to that place!"_

" _Whoa, easy buddy. You're okay, you're safe now," The shinobi said in a soft voice to the clearly terrified boy in front of him. He was covered in sweat, urine, feces, and vomit. He looked like a terrified, feral animal. "What's your name?"_

" _Get away from me!" Sasuke yelled, flailing out at the much more experienced shinobi. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke and pressed his fingers to two pressure points in Sasuke's neck, causing him to go limp and unconscious in his arms._

Sasuke winced at the memory, acutely aware of how irrational he acted, but also aware of how terrified he was. The closet had since been cleaned of his two day stay, and aside from a few sets of clothes from when Sasuke was an infant the closet was empty. Turning his back to the closet and examining the rest of the room, Sasuke let out a heavy sigh.

It was going to take a lot of work to make this house presentable to Sakura.

Sakura walked up to the office of the Hokage. Now that this wasn't Tsunade's office, Sakura was hesitant to just walk in. After all, if there had been a medical emergency Sakura didn't care if it was the Five Kage Summit, she would have interrupted.

With Kakashi, however, she was more hesitant.

That's not to say she wasn't comfortable with Kakashi, if fact it was quite the opposite. She felt more comfortable as a person around Kakashi, but less comfortable as a shinobi. That likely came from what felt like him taking preference of Naruto and especially Sasuke over her. While he was a good leader to her, most of her learning came from Tsunade.

On the other hand, she did not feel comfortable going out for ramen or drinks with Tsunade, but with Kakashi she would never think twice about it.

Taking a deep breath she threw open the doors to Kakashi's office.

"Kakashi what the hell-" Sakura stopped once she saw the he was, unfortunately, not alone in his office. Naruto, Shikamaru, and Hinata were there, clearly having a very important discussion.

"Kakashi-sensei what do you mean I can't ask to be recommended for jonin?" Naruto asked, clearly frustrated. Kakashi sighed.

"Naruto, you are technically still a genin, remember what happened when you tried to take the chunin exam?" Sakura couldn't help but giggle at the memory of Naruto activating Sage Mode against Konohamaru. Naruto pouted. "And no, you cannot be promoted from genin to jonin. There is a reason for the succession-"

"Does it really matter?" Naruto argued, and Kakashi sighed.

"Yes, it does. And I can't show favoritism to you because you are my former student. Take the chunin exam in two month's time, and them we can talk. But for now, you must be accompanied by a jonin on all missions, such as Shikamaru." Sakura smiled and turned to Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, just don't be an idiot during this exam and I'm _sure_ Kakashi-sensei will recommend you get promoted to jonin," Sakura said, giving Kakashi a side glance. A glance he knew to nod to without asking any questions.

"Ah, Sakura-chan! I didn't hear you come in!" Naruto said gleefully, throwing his arms around Sakura, He, Shikamaru, and Hinata had been away on a mission for the past two weeks, and Sakura would be lying if she said she didn't miss his presence and his hugs. Although there was no romantic pretense between them, his hugs certainly gave her comfort.

"It's good to see you too, Naruto-kun!" She responded, smiling into his shoulder.

"We are heading to Ichiraku, do you want to come with us?" Naruto released his grip on her, staring into her eyes. She wavered slightly.

"Um, how about after I talk to Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura said, trying to hold her voice steady. Naruto's eyes narrowed, but Sakura gave him a glare that said 'we will talk about this later'. He stepped back and smiled.

"Okay! I'll order for you, and how about this! I'll even pay for you with my A-rank mission award!" Naruto said with a wink, and Sakura couldn't help but giggle.

"Sure thing, I'll see you there soon!" She said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He rubbed his cheek and smiled.

"Hinata-chan, Shikamaru, let's go get some food!" Naruto yelled, leaving the office. As dense as he could be sometimes, Sakura had become a pro at knowing how to get him to leave at the right time. As they left, Sakura glared at Kakashi.

"We. Need. To. Talk." Sakura said, enunciating every syllable. Kakashi gave a cock of his head, closing his eyes.

"Sakura, whatever do you mean?"

"Cut the bullshit. I know what you said to Sasuke," Sakura said sharply, glaring at Kakashi the entire time, never breaking eye contact with the Copy Nin. He made a face are her.

"Now Sakura, is that any way to talk to your Hokage?" Sakura growled under her breath.

"I don't care if you are king of the free world. Why would you give someone, anyone, let alone your former student, such an ultimatum?" Sakura said, her voice rising.

"I gave him a choice of either losing his land or keeping it. He had a choice." Kakashi stated, not giving any hint of emotion. Sakura took a deep breath.

"That is not a choice. He would never give up his land, you know that," Sakura spat. Kakashi stared at her, making sure she was not making any further statements.

"Sakura, to my knowledge, you are the only person he talked to." Sakura was silent, not giving an answer. In her heart, she knew she was the only one he discussed this with. But she was trying to convince herself she was the last resort.

"He chose you because he trusts you." Kakashi stated flatly, as if it were fact. Sakura stood there, not quite sure what to make of her previous sensei's words. "And if it helps, I would happily officiate the wedding. Although I'm not sure what stage you two are at, considering you are already wearing an Uchiha wedding band." Sakura's jaw dropped.

"I thought… this was an engagement ring…" Sakura stuttered. Kakashi chuckled.

"Well, I suggest you talk to your husband, or I suppose fiancé, and figure that out, no?" Kakashi's eyes turned up slightly as Sakura gasped, turning out of his office.

As she was leaving, she ran into Gai.

"Sakura! How are you on this lovely-"

"Not. Now. Gai." Sakura said sternly, not breaking her pace for a second. Gai stared at her, and walked into Kakashi's office.

"Hello Hokage-sama! How are you on this wonderful-"

"Gai," Kakashi said, leaving his hand out, looking at Gai expectantly. Gai sighed heavily, looking annoyed at the Hokage.

"You know, this is unethical for the Hokage to-"

"Gai," Kakashi said sternly, not breaking his gaze. Gai made an annoyed sound and placed 10000 ryo in Kakashi's hand.

"Not fair," Gai muttered, and Kakashi chucked.

"It's not my fault I know my students better than you."

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	4. Chapter 4

Hello readers on this fine Saturday night! Thank your kind words, follows, favs, and visitors for giving this story a read! Much love to you all! 3

 **THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

And with that… let's begin!

* * *

Storming out of the Hokage tower, her head reeling, Sakura started to head towards Ichiraku, knowing it was about a ten minute walk away. She had ten minutes to clear her head, and ten minutes to figure out how she was going to explain all of this to Naruto.

' _He is not going to be happy,'_ Sakura thought to herself, pressing her lips together in deep thought. And as much as she hated to admit it, Kakashi was right about one thing; what the hell were her and Sasuke? She looked down at her left hand, still not used to the feeling of the heavy ring on her finger. The deep red stone seemed to be staring back at her. If this was a wedding band, was she already his wife? Or was it more symbolic, like a promise ring? Or was that Sasuke's way of proposing? Would they have a wedding? Would they wait until the wedding to have sex? When were they supposed to start, as Sasuke so romantically put it, 're-establishing his clan'?

Sakura shook her head at the hundreds of questions running through her head, and refocused on what she was going to tell Naruto so he didn't run off and try and kill Sasuke. Or take his other arms. Or make sure he would never be able to re-establish the Uchiha clan.

Sakura didn't realize she was power walking to Ichiraku, cutting the time nearly in half and suddenly she was at the entrance to the ramen stand. She saw Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru sitting, waiting for their food.

"Oh man this was all I wanted while we were away!" Naruto said happily. Sakura took a deep breath and walked up to her friends, grabbing a seat next to Naruto. "Sakura-chan! Perfect timing! We just ordered, yours will be coming out at the same time. I was worried that if you were going to be in Kakashi-sensei's office for a while it would get cold." Sakura smiled.

"Luckily it was a quick meeting," Sakura said, not looking Naruto in the eyes. Ever since Naruto came back from his two and a half years of training with Jirayia he had become more protective of Sakura, and since The Great Shinobi War and the possibility of losing everyone that protectiveness increased. While she was grateful for this, it made her nervous as to how he was going to react to her news.

Their food came out and was placed in front of them, Naruto making lots of gleeful noises at his favorite meal being brought out to him. Sakura put the first few spoonfuls of the warm food into her mouth.

"Sakura, why do you have an Uchiha wedding band on?" Shikamaru asked, causing Sakura to start choking on her food. She began coughing violently, Naruto slapping her hard on the back, Hinata asking the waitress for a glass of water for Sakura, and Shikamaru staring at her, the corners of his mouth turned up at the chaos he just caused.

Hinata placed the glass of water in front of Sakura, which she quickly started drinking, her coughs becoming less violent as she regained her breath. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Sakura glared at Shikamaru. He cocked his head and raised his eyebrow at her. Naruto grabbed Sakura's left hand, examining the ring on it.

"What?! Wedding band? Uchiha clan? What's going on?" Naruto yelled. Sakura snatched her hand back, not breaking her glare at Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru, what do you know about this ring?" Sakura asked, her voice low, almost threatening. Shikamaru shrugged.

"That's the ring that all of the married women of the Uchiha clan wore. It was a symbol of loyalty to the clan, but some also saw it as a sign of possession. It is strange to see the ring on I woman I assume is unmarried," Sakura's jaw opened.

"Shikamaru-kun, how do you know so much about rings?" Hinata asked. Shikamaru's face turned a slight pink as he looked away.

"Just… doing some research," Shikamaru replied. Naruto continued to look baffled.

"I don't care why Shikamaru knows about rings! I care about why the hell Sakura is wearing it!" Naruto continued to yell. Sakura took a deep breath, her hands shaking slightly. Hinata gave Naruto a stern stare.

"Naruto-kun, lower your voice," Hinata said, looking empathetically at Sakura.

"Naruto… Sasuke asked me to help him repopulate his clan. They were going to take over the Uchiha land if he didn't make an effort to re-establish the clan. He asked if I would be his wife and help him do that, and I said yes." Naruto's eyes widened, his jaw dropping as he struggled to look for the right words. After a few silent seconds he stood up, towering over Sakura.

"I'm going to cut that bastard's dick off!" Naruto roared, getting attention from those passing by. "Does he really have that little respect for you, for anyone? Sakura, this is crazy! You can't do this!" Hinata put her hand on his shoulder, urging him to lower his voice and sit back down.

"You do not have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do, Naruto," Sakura snapped. "This is my decision."

"Does he even love you, Sakura? Like, really love you? Like the way you have always loved him, even when we were kids? Like the way Shikamaru loves Temari, or the way I love Hinata? Does he even love you like I love you, so much so that I would do anything to protect you?" Naruto fought back. Sakura, stunned by his words, had no response. "I didn't think so," Naruto said, his voice softening. Even though Sakura knew his words to be true, so true that she had even brought them up in her conversation with Sasuke, hearing them from someone else made them infinitely worse.

Sakura turned her face away, not wanting her friends to see her eyes water. She quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and turned back to face Naruto. She took a shaky breath, regaining her composure.

"I know he doesn't love me like that, and that's okay. I want to see him happy, like how I want to see you happy. And if seeing him happy means having a clan again, a family again, I want to help give him that." It was Naruto's turn to be without words. A wave of exhaustion came over Sakura, realizing she was nearing thirty hours without sleep. Hinata picked up on this immediately.

"Sakura-chan, you look exhausted. Why don't you take the rest of your meal home and get some rest?" The perceptive Hyuuga said softly. Recognizing the rapid changes in emotions she was having was no doubt due to lack of sleep, Sakura nodded, turning to the waitress to ask for her ramen to be put in a to-go container. Hinata looked up at Naruto. "Naruto-kun, why don't you walk Sakura home?" Naruto nodded.

"I'll make sure she gets home alright," Naruto gave a quick kiss on Hinata's forehead, seemingly grateful for her ability to calm a situation down. "I will come find you afterwards." Hinata blushed slightly. Even after being together go over a year his little displays of affection still made her glow. Sakura felt a slight pang of jealousy and sadness.

The waitress brought Sakura back her meal and she and Naruto stood up. The two of them left the stand, walking towards Sakura's apartment in silence. The entire fifteen minute walk to Sakura's apartment was silent, Naruto staring at the ground flipping between anger and worry and Sakura too exhausted to even form coherent thoughts.

They arrived at her apartment and Naruto walked her to the door.

"Hey, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, breaking the silence. Sakura lifted her eyes to meet his deep blue ones. "I am not, and will never, tell you what to do. If I did, you'd probably shatter every bone in my body and refuse to heal them, at least for a little bit." Sakura gave him a weak smile. "But can you promise me one thing?" Sakura gave him an inquisitive look. "Please think about what you are doing. Make the best decision for you."

Naruto's face was full of worry and concern for his friend, and Sakura knew everything he had said was out of concern for her. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight.

"Okay, I promise," she replied. She heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Sakura-chan…. You're squishing me." Sakura quickly released him, not realizing how tight she was hugging him. Lack of chakra control usually meant she was significantly sleep deprived. "Get some sleep." Sakura nodded and unlocked the door as Naruto turned away.

"And Sakura-chan," Naruto said over his shoulder, causing Sakura to pause at her door. "You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love Sasuke." Sakura gave a slow nod and walked into her apartment, locking the door behind her.

Sakura put her meal in her refrigerator and made a beeline for her bedroom. Stripping out of her casual clothes, she slipped on a pink tank top and red shorts and crawled straight into her bed. She surrounded herself with her pillows and three blankets, building a cocoon of warmth and softness around her. Wrapped up in the safety of her bed, Sakura glanced down at her left hand, looking at the ring more closely.

The metal itself was dark, but still shiny, like obsidian. The metal was smooth and dense. Sakura looked closer at the red stone in the center of the ring. The red was the same red she had seen Sasuke's eyes turn many times when activating his Sharingan. Upon closer inspection she saw three black dots embedded in the stone, which resembled the tomoe of that Sharingan. She moved her hand slightly, taking it out from beneath the blankets and held it up to the beam of light streaking through her window. As she shifted the angle of the stone, Sakura could see a faint image appear in the stone. She squinted her eyes and stared at it more closely.

The pattern was the same as Sasuke's Eternal Mangekyo.

Suddenly uneasy, Sakura retreated her hand back under the blankets and let her eyes close, letting her mind fall quiet and fall asleep.

* * *

Sasuke was leaving the store with groceries and cleaning supplies when a familiar blonde haired shinobi stepped in front of him.

"Listen, bastard, we need to talk," Naruto growled.

"I'm busy," Sasuke replied, turning to walk away. Naruto grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving.

"I don't care how busy you are, we need to talk. Now." Having a feeling he knew what this was about, Sasuke closed his eyes in annoyance.

"Fine, idiot. You have two minutes." Sasuke responded. Naruto took a deep breath.

"What the hell are you doing telling Sakura you need her to help 're-establish you clan'?" Naruto asked, talking with air quotes. Sasuke opened his eyes, narrowing them to look at Naruto.

"That is between me and Sakura," Sasuke replied in a low voice. "And I didn't tell her to do anything."

"You asked her to be your wife! To have your children!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke glared.

"Lower your voice, idiot. And you are right, I _asked_ her, I didn't _tell_ her to do a damn thing," Sasuke snapped back.

"You asked her because you knew she would say yes. Because she would do anything for you. You know how much she cares about you, how much she loves you. And you are taking advantage of that!" Naruto continued to raise his voice. "You don't care about her, you are just using her as someone to fuck and have your babies!" Sasuke dropped the bag he was holding and grabbed Naruto by the collar, bringing his face close to his own.

"Do not dare try to assume what my motivations are." Sasuke threatened, glaring at Naruto. People walking by stopped, staring at the scene unfolding.

"She has spent way too long hurting over you," Naruto growled through his teeth. Sasuke released Naruto's collar with a push and turned his back to the blonde shinobi. "She deserves better than a selfish bastard who doesn't love her!"

Sasuke picked up his bag and started walking away, and then stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"I know she deserves better, idiot."

* * *

Rate, review, follow! Thanks for the read!


	5. Chapter 5

Hello readers! Sorry it has taken me so long to update (although a week for an update isn't bad, right?). I had a quick stint in the ER earlier this week and that TOTALLY drained my energy, especially having to work the rest of the week. But yay feeling better and yay another chapter! 3

 **THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

And with that… let's begin!

 _It was near midnight and Sakura was standing by the village gate, sitting at a bench. She was thirteen years old again, and had an eerie feeling come over her. She felt like she was supposed to be her, like it was her destiny._

 _Suddenly the scene shifted and she was standing with tears running down her face, her hands clasped. She was staring at someone's back. Her mouth was moving, shouting, but all she could hear was her blood rushing in her ears._

 _And then there was no one in front of her, and she sensed someone standing behind her. They were saying something, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. All she felt was panic, worry, and… love?_

 _The scene shifted and Sakura was sixteen again. Just two years ago. Sakura was standing over someone laying down, bloodied and near death. Sakura had a kunai in her hand. Why did she have a kunai in her hand? Shouldn't she be helping this person?_

 _She heard a voice behind her, not sure exactly what they were saying, but they were encouraging her to kill the figure at her feet. Sakura felt a mix of disdain, hurt, sadness, and fear._

 _This time there were no words, but behind her she heard the sound of birds and crackling lightening._

A sharp rapt at the door tore Sakura away from the dream, or rather, nightmare. She shot upright, sweat dripping down her face and her whole body damp. She glanced at the clock; it read ten o'clock. Sakura scrunched her face, thinking the noise was in her head. She collapsed back against her pillows and closed her eyes. Half a second later there was another rapt at the door, and Sakura swung her legs over the bed.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming," she half mumbled, half yelled. Sakura opened the door to her apartment, rubbing her eyes. In front of her stood her fiancé/husband/undefined partner.

"Hey," Sasuke's said, his voice deep and nonchalant, seeming as if showing up to someone's house at ten at night was normal. Sakura just stared at him in disbelief. "Can I come in?" Sakura blinked at him, turned her back and waved him in.

"I'll make us some tea," she said, walking towards the kitchen. Sasuke followed her in, closing the door behind him, noting there was no lock on the door.

"Did your lock break?" Sasuke asked, and Sakura shrugged, putting a kettle on the small stove.

"Never had one. I don't see much of a point. Anyone who could be stopped with a locked door would be easy to deal with. And well, anyone who wouldn't be stopped by a locked door, well, then what's the point?" Sasuke was about to argue about people breaking into her apartment, but looking around her apartment he saw little of value. In fact, the entire apartment looked very minimalist. The only hint of Sakura that he could see in the living area and kitchen was a picture of Team 7, back when they were twelve.

Sakura saw him staring at the picture and smiled. "Do you remember that day?" Sakura asked. A small smile tugged at Sasuke's lips.

"Yeah, we were trying to see what was under Kakashi's mask." Sasuke replied, recalling that silly, pointless day. Silly and pointless, but among one of the happier memories from the past six years. "We've still never seen what's under that mask." Sakura gave Sasuke an inquisitive look and started laughing.

"Maybe you haven't, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said through giggles. "But you aren't a medic nin, and you haven't had to treat him." Sasuke looked at her in shock, somehow unable to wrap his mind around the fact that his former sensei's face had been revealed. Sakura quickly picked up on the minute change in Sasuke's demeanor. "You want to know what he looks like, don't you?"

Sasuke was silent for a moment, before weakly replying, "Yes…"Sakura smiled.

"Well, no buck teeth or fish lips. A birthmark on his lower lip, but overall quite handsome. To be honest, it's a surprise he doesn't have a wife."

Sasuke was silent, unsure of what to say. Fortunately the kettle began to whistle, and Sakura's attention was pulled back to the stove. Sasuke sat down at the small kitchen table. He heard a grumbling noise and saw Sakura grab her stomach, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

"Sakura, when did you last eat?" Sasuke asked, his voice stern. Sakura bit her lip.

"I grabbed some food after we, uh, talked, but I was so tired I just came back and went to sleep," Sakura replied, leaving out the part where she met with Kakashi and Naruto.

"Sakura, eat something," Sakura narrowed her eyes at Sasuke's demand. He sighed. "Please." Sakura pursed her lips and turned to the fridge, grabbing a container. Sasuke noted that the fridge was mostly empty, save for a few takeout containers.

Sakura put her meal in the microwave and brought both teas over to the kitchen table.

"Thanks," Sasuke murmured, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a cautious sip. "You don't keep much food here, do you?"

Sakura flinched. "Why, do you want something?" She asked, slightly panicked.

"Relax, Sakura. I'm fine. But you really should have more food around," he reprimanded, irritating Sakura.

"I spend almost eighty hours a week either at the hospital, training, or on missions. I don't have the luxury of making meals at home," Sakura replied more defensively than she would have liked. Sasuke was about to reply when the microwave dinged. Sakura turned on her heels to retrieve her meal, and brought her ramen to the table.

They sat in silence, with Sasuke silently sipping his tea and Sakura quietly eating her ramen, punctuated by periodic slurping noises.

"Naruto's really had an impact on your food choices," Sakura shot her eyes up to meet Sasuke's, and she realized he was making a rare, but welcome, jest.

"How many times has he dragged you to Ichiraku since you've been back?" Sakura asked, and Sasuke groaned.

"Too many for my liking." Sakura smiled and pushed her bowl towards him.

"Well, now it isn't at Ichiraku, but my apartment, so eat," Sakura chided. Sasuke glared and pushed the bowl back at her.

"No, I've already eaten. You need to eat." Sakura's eyes narrowed, and she pushed the bowl back to him.

"It's rude to deny food when you are a guest in someone else's house," Sakura replied in a fake sweet voice. Sasuke pushed the bowl back to her, staring her down.

"It's not rude for me to insist my wife eats." Sakura's eyes went wide. They both stared at each other, silent, not moving.

"Am I your wife, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, almost whisper quiet. Her right hand made its way to the ring on her left hand, nervously fidgeting it. "Is this an Uchiha wedding band?"

Sasuke closed his eyes, contemplating how he was going to phrase his response. He wanted to make this as easy on her as possible, because what he was asking of her was no small task. And she had no idea what the future would entail.

"Sakura, we can be whatever you want us to be. Yes, that ring is essentially an Uchiha wedding band. And I do want you to be my wife so I, so we, can re-establish my clan. But right now we will be and do whatever you are comfortable with." _Because this is not going to get any easier._

Sakura took a deep breath and lowered her eyes, her whole body language shifting from the bold kunoichi back to the shy girl she once was.

"I think… I think I would still like us to have a wedding," Sakura murmured, her face turning bright red.

Sasuke's first reaction was annoyance. Why did she think a wedding would help their situation? It would only make things worse. They were not marrying out of love, they were becoming united through duty to the Uchiha clan. Sasuke did not see any romance in their union, so why precede it with the epitome of romance?

After allowing himself a moment of annoyance Sasuke tried to imagine her perspective. He was essentially asking her to give up any semblance of a normal life and depriving her of a love life. She would never know what it feels like to have someone love her. He would protect her and care for her, but Sasuke knew he did not and could not love her.

He was not capable of love, and was not worthy of feeling it for anyone.

But at the very least, he _could_ give her this. And although it wouldn't wash away his guilt, it would help.

Sasuke let out a heavy sigh. "Okay Sakura." Her face immediately lit up.

"It doesn't have to be a big wedding, just us and Naruto and Kakashi, which means I suppose Hinata will be there, and Ino would KILL me if she wasn't there, which I guess means Sai would be there-"

"Sakura," Sasuke cut her off. "Invite whoever you'd like." Sakura smiled.

"Okay, when do we want to get married then?" Sakura laughed. "This is crazy, this is absolutely insane. Are we really doing this?"

"We are if you want to," Sasuke replied, his voice serious. "We are only doing this if you are one hundred percent committed. I won't hold it against you if-"

"Sasuke-kun," It was Sakura's turn to cut him off. She reached across the table, grasping his hand between hers. He flinched slightly at her sudden touch, but didn't pull away. "I am in. I want you to be happy. And I want you to have a clan again."

Silently, Sasuke nodded, giving her hands a quick squeeze before pulling his hand back and standing up.

"Two weeks," Sasuke said. "Can we do this in two weeks?" Sakura nodded.

"I can get to work right away, and I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to help. Kakashi-sensei even offered to officiate," Sakura smiled at Sasuke, gauging his reaction.

"Perhaps…" Sasuke said quietly. "It is good luck to have a Hokage officiate a wedding."

Sakura beamed, surprised at Sasuke's agreeance. She nodded happily.

Sasuke turned to leave, but paused, and turned back to Sakura. He lightly put his hand on her head. It was a half second gesture, and then he was out the door.

Without thinking, Sakura touched the top of her head and smiled. Standing up she tossed the rest of her food in the garbage, put the mugs in the sink, and went back to bad.

After all, she had a wedding to plan the next morning.

Rate, review, favorite, send love!


	6. Chapter 6

Greetings! Sorry this chapter has taken me so long to get out… life has a way of smacking me in the face on occasion!

 **THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

And with that… let's begin!

* * *

 _Sasuke felt his whole body floating above a destroyed battlefield. Trees were fallen, buildings were destroyed, and the familiar, warm scent of blood was strong in the air. Sasuke felt his heartbeat in his ears as his blood rushed to his ears, his skin flushing. He felt the back of his neck warm as he shivered. Sasuke sucked in a deep breath, licked his lips, curling his toes as the welcome feeling of blood lust set in._

 _Sasuke began surveying the scene, looking for what could be the cause of the destruction. He saw two figures covered in blood, one of them on the ground. The presumed victor stood over them, his blood smeared across his torso and blood running down his eye. The girl on the ground was bleeding from her mouth, breathing rapid, shallow breaths. Sasuke's heart quickened and began to rub his fingers together._

 _Suddenly a new girl entered the battlefield, completely untouched._

 _Unscathed._

 _Clean._

 _Sasuke felt the urge to see her blood spilled. He ground his teeth together and growled, frustrated at his inability to reach the scene unfolding beneath him, clenching and unclenching his fist._

 _The new girl approached the victor. Was she challenging him? Next to the victor, she looked small and pathetic. Easy prey, easy satisfaction._

 _The two figures exchanged words, and the victor motioned to the girl on the ground. The limp figure's breaths were becoming more erratic, clearly not pulling in breath to her lungs. She would draw out the satisfaction of the kill, but sometimes the tease was worth the wait. The untouched girl seemed hesitant, but turned towards the girl on the ground, a kunai in her hands._

 _The victor channeled lightening to his hand, ready bloody the clean girl's body. Sasuke felt his stomach muscles and thighs twitch, anticipating the sight of warm, wet blood running down the girl's body as the hand penetrated her tight ribcage._

 _The girl began to turn and a flash of pink hair and emerald eyes filled with fear faced the victor._

Sasuke jolted awake, his whole body covered in sweat, his heart beating fast. He sat up quickly, running his fingers through his now damp hair.

It had been awhile since he had a dream like that; one where he could feel all of the desire and lust for a kill, feeling warm blood run down his arms, overpowering his victim-

Sasuke shook his head rapidly, dispelling the thoughts from his head. The last thing he needed was to continue to allow those thoughts to populate his mind. As frustrated and needing release as he was, he could not allow himself to go back to receiving gratification from the deaths at his hand.

And even more importantly he knew he shouldn't be aroused at the thought of murdering his soon to be wife.

Sasuke swung his legs over the bed and stripped off the remainder of his clothes and headed towards the bathroom, intent on taking a very cold shower.

* * *

Sakura stood in front of the door to Tsunade's office. It was almost noon, which meant that former Hokage _should_ be awake and sober. Despite being in her sixties, Tsunade could out drink any of her peers.

The next day, however, she was usually in worse shape than all of them combined.

Sakura took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Tsunade-sama?"

"Hngh?" Sakura pressed her lips together firmly, not sure if she should enter. "Did you hear me Sakura? I said come in."

Sakura rolled her eyes for a half second and twisted the door knob, opening the door to a large, messy office. Papers were strewn across the floor, many with scribbles and notes written on them. A few had sake stains.

"Hello, Tsunade-sama," Sakura said, bowing respectfully. Tsunade picked her head up off her desk and pointed to the chair across from her.

"You. Sit down. Now." Sakura hurriedly sat, sweat beginning to form on her back, feeling nervousness and anxiety setting in. "Please tell me what the hell is on your finger." Sakura gulped.

"It's… a ring," Sakura replied uneasily. She internally cursed herself. She had spent the past several years becoming confident and assertive, and now when she needed to be as confident as possible she was waffling.

"And what kind of ring is that?" Tsunade asked, her voice filled with fake sweetness.

"An Uchiha clan ring, Tsunade-sama," Sakura replied, proud of herself for not stuttering or having her voice shake.

"And, just out of curiosity why on Earth would you be wearing a ring of a clan that has a single surviving member?" Tsunade asked, faking ignorance. Sakura grit her teeth together, not enjoying this game.

"Because, Tsunade-sama, that single surviving member has asked me to join that clan. As his wife." Tsunade spat out a bitter laugh.

"Oh no, Sakura. He doesn't want you as his wife. He wants you as someone who he can get pregnant. He wants someone to be a mother to his child. Uchiha Sasuke has no intention of having a wife. Do not fool yourself into thinking that." Tsunade held Sakura's gaze, never breaking away.

Sakura was in complete shock at Tsunade's bluntness. She had known her mentor to be honest to a fault, and was often times callous, but this was the first time Sakura had that callousness directed at her. Sakura shifted uneasily in her chair, averting her gaze.

"Sakura, look at me." Sakura snapped her eyes back to her mentor's amber ones, eyes that when she was angry seemed to catch on fire. "Do you think the Uchiha boy loves you?"

Sakura gulped audibly. "I know he doesn't."

"Oh good, you're not as much in fairytale land as I thought you were!" Tsunade threw her hands in the air in fake joy. "Then mind telling me why my prodigy is throwing away her entire future to please some boy who doesn't have any feelings for her? One who has manipulated your feelings since you were children?"

"I am not throwing anything away!" Sakura snapped, her voice raising. "This is my decision, he gave me a choice. I'm not being forced into anything."

"He asked you because he knew you would say yes. And just like he did when he left you at the Konoha gates when you were thirteen, when he almost killed you just THREE years ago, he is manipulating you!" Tsunade yelled back.

Sakura stood up, her temper flaring. "Tsunade-sama, I would like to think that I've grown out of the phase where my childhood crush could manipulate my feelings you are highly mistake." Tsunade barked out a laugh.

"I would say getting you to marry someone who doesn't love you back is a perfect representation of your feelings being manipulated."

Her vision filling with red Sakura grabbed the chair she was sitting in moments ago and threw it. She threw without aim and heard the crashing of glass as a window shattered, the chair flying out the window.

"Do NOT assume that I am unaware of Sasuke-kun's intentions, Tsunade-sama. I understand full well what I am getting myself into, and if I just so happen to ever need or want your advice, I'll know where to find you."

"Something tells me you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. And if you follow through on this, you will end up more alone than I ever was." Tsunade replied in a low, threatening voice.

Sakura turned on her heels and left her mentor's office, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Kakashi was walking to the Konoha Hospital to meet with Tsunade regarding additional training for ANBU members to include basic medical ninjutsu. Just as he was about to enter the building a chair flew out of the window to Tsunade's office.

"Hm, Tsunade and Sakura's meeting must have went well," The Copy Nin mused.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

**THIS STORY CONTAINS MATERIAL REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT, PTSD, SURVIVOR'S GUILT, AND MANY SENSITIVE TOPICS**

I will make clear which chapters contain more explicit material, but a focus of this story will be there areas. I will include this disclaimer at the top of every chapter, and will note which ones are particularly sensitive. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

And with that… let's begin!

* * *

Sakura began power walking towards her favorite training grounds, fists clenching and unclenching the entire time. Tsunade's words playing on repeat in her head, Sakura felt anxiety rising in her chest, blood pounding in her ears, and her extremities were tingling.

She needed to punch something and turn it into dust.

Relieved that there was no one else there, Sakura pulled her gloves out of her pouch and slipped them on, flexing her fingers as the material slid over them. For a moment the glove caught on the ring occupying her finger, and after a moment Sakura decided it was best to slip the ring off and secured it in her pouch. _Sasuke-kun would not be happy if this turned to dust,_ Sakura mused to herself.

The thought made her panic. Would she always put Sasuke's desires above hers? Would she have to? Would it be expected of her? She shook her head, trying to not go down the path of thoughts that would inevitably leave her gasping and shaking on the ground.

In the past two years since the end of the war, after watching comrades die, watching her two best friends nearly kill each other and having to patch them up, and helping to heal the thousands of shinobi who were injured due to the war and watching many of them not make it, Sakura's baseline level of anxiety skyrocketed. She was always a high stress, high anxiety, A-type personality, but since the war she had started suffering from intermittent panic attacks.

Trying to suppress the possible oncoming one, Sakura's thoughts drifted back to her first one.

 _Sakura and Kakashi had finally made it back to Konoha, or rather, what was still left standing of it. Kakashi carried Naruto on his back, and Sakura carried Sasuke on hers. They made it back to the village in what seemed like record time from the Valley of the End, both boys needing urgent medical attention. At the entrance to the village a large crowd stood, evidently awaiting the return of Naruto, the beloved village war hero, and Sasuke, a criminal to the village._

 _As soon as Sakura could begin to make out faces in the crowd, she yelled for the one person she trusted to help._

" _Tsunade-sama!" Looking as exhausted, if not more, than either Kakashi or herself, Tsunade made her way to them._

" _What the fuck did these two idiots do?" The Hokage roared, motioning for two other shinobi to grab the limp teenagers from Sakura and Kakashi. "Doesn't matter, we need to look at them now."_

" _Let me help," Sakura responded quickly, more on instinct than rational thought. Tsunade shook her head._

" _Absolutely not. No one is to operate on comrades unless it is a last resort, you know that." Sakura began to open her mouth to protest, but Tsunade held her hand up, silencing her. Tsunade's face softened slightly. "You got them stabilized, while on ultra-low chakra reserves, and made it back here with them. Safe. You did a great job, and I am proud of you for that. But you need to trust us to take care of them." Evidently unwavering in her position, Sakura resigned herself to the Hokage's position, bowing her head. Tsunade and the two shinobi carrying the two boys she cared the most about away from her, out of her medical control, moved to what was left of the village._

 _Kakashi put a hand on Sakura's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze._

" _You did a great job getting them stable. I have never seen a medic perform so well given the circumstances you just faced. And you had me running after you on the way back from the Village of the End. You really have become and incredible kunoichi."_

 _Kakashi's words felt like they were being spoken through water. His words sounded distorted and distant, and Sakura couldn't focus on them, even though they were the words she had been wanting to hear since she was a twelve year old genin._

 _All she could think of was the way it felt like her arms and legs were going numb and tingling at the same time. She felt a heaviness weigh down on her chest, crushing her. New sweat began to bead up on the back of her neck, and she felt hot and cold at the same time. Sakura felt her throat closing up and she couldn't breathe. She began grasping at her throat, trying desperately to get a breath all the way into her lungs._

 _And worst of all, she just couldn't shake the feeling that something was VERY wrong, but she had no idea what it was._

" _Kakashi-sensei, something's wrong." Sakura said, her voice shaking. Her whole body began to shake. Kakashi quickly turned her to look at her more closely. The two black eyes stared at her face, one hand on each of her shoulders._

" _Are you hurt?" The Copy-nin asked her, staring intently at her._

" _No, no, but something is wrong. Something is wrong." Sakura began to fidget and shake more violently. "I can't breathe." Sakura began clawing at her throat, breathing rapidly._

" _Sakura, you're starting to hyperventilate. Slow down," Kakashi said gently, beginning to realize the issue._

" _I can't, something is wrong!" Sakura roared at him. She began looking around frantically, suddenly glad that most of the shinobi and villagers were out of earshot. She felt her sensei grab her arms more firmly._

" _Sakura, listen to me. Nothing is wrong. You're having a panic attack." Kakashi said evenly, determining if his words fell on deaf ears or not. Sakura blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend his statement._

" _But it feels real that something is wrong," Sakura replied, her breathing picking up faster, having the opposite effect that Kakashi intended._

" _Sakura, if you don't get your breathing under control you are going to pass-"_

 _Before he could finish his instructions, Sakura began to crumble to the ground._

Cringing at the memory, Sakura re-centered herself and slowly began breathing in and out. Not only did it quell the creeping panic, but it also made her aware of her own chakra flow. Focusing it all into her fist, Sakura landed a blow to the solid Earth beneath her.

After an hour of pummeling the Earth, and subsequently destroying the training grounds (again), Sakura began to feel calm again. The tingling in her arms and legs was replaced by muscle fatigue, and the shortness of breath was replaced by exercised induced labored breathing.

"Hm, it seems like we will be needing to repair this training ground. Again." Sakura snapped her head to find her former sensei up in a tree, leaning against the trunk of it with her arms crossed. Instead of wearing the traditional Hokage robes, he was wearing his standard shinobi issued flak jacket.

Some days she even forgot that he was the Hokage.

Sakura rolled her eyes, sighing heavily and providing no other response. Kakashi cocked his head slightly, eyeing her intensely.

"Of course, I could use some of my super-secret Hokage discretionary funds to fix the training grounds up. I could say that a stampede of tailed beasts made their way through here." At that Sakura gave a smile, her shoulders relaxing. She hadn't even realized how tight they were.

"That's the smile I was hoping for," Kakashi leapt down from his perch, landing next to Sakura. "I caught the last bit of your discussion with Tsunade." Sakura grimaced at the recent memory, embarrassed at how she acted in front of her mentor. "In case you're wondering, I caught the chair too."

Sakura barked out a laugh before immediately covering her face with her hands. Spreading her fingers slightly she peered between them and gave Kakashi a sheepish look. "Sorry about that." Kakashi waved his hand dismissively.

"You're in luck, there is no law against throwing a chair out a window in the direction of the Hokage. I think you're off the hook for assassination via chair." Kakashi paused for a moment. "How are you holding up? It's been an eventful few days for you."

Sakura pressed her lips together tightly, not able to find to right words to describe the thoughts flying through her head at a million miles an hour. "It has been… intense." Sakura paused for a moment. "Overwhelmed would be the best way to describe it." Kakashi nodded, understanding.

"I think anyone in your situation would feel overwhelmed. And I think you are handling it as best you can, even if that means destruction of village property." Sakura smiled again. "But also know that you have people to lean on. People who want what is best for you." Sakura's smile faded and she threw her hands in the air, exasperated.

"Everyone keeps saying they want 'what is best for me'! They don't know what that is!" Sakura yelled. "I don't even know what that is!" Sakura spun around and started pacing.

Kakashi strode towards her and spun her around to face him. He put a hand on each of her shoulders, firmly holding her in place and lowered himself to her eye level.

Holding his gaze Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, distracting herself from the panic beginning to rise in her chest again.

"Sakura, it's okay to not know that." Kakashi said evenly. Feeling her eyes being to prickle, Sakura broke her gaze.

"I just… I want to make sure I am making the right decision. For me, for Sasuke, for the village, for everyone." Sakura replied, her voice breaking. She returned her eyes to his. "I have spent years building myself into the best medic, the best fighter, the best ninja that I can be. Will I have to throw that all away? Will people expect me to throw that all away? Will people think I'm weak and useless _again_ because of this? Will-"

"Sakura, stop." Kakashi cut her off, squeezing her shoulders firmly. "This isn't helping, this is throwing you into a panic." Kakashi said firmly. Sakura closed her eyes and focused on the firm grip of her former sensei, letting it ground her.

Ever since the end of the war it was Kakashi who knew how to recognize her anxious tendencies and when she was going into full blown panic mode.

"You know I don't have an answer for you if this is the best decision for you. No one does. But what I do know is that there are a lot of people who want to see you happy. Just like you want to see Sasuke happy." Sakura sighed heavily, letting Kakashi's words sink in.

"I know," Sakura replied quietly. A pregnant silence fell, before surprisingly Kakashi was the one to break it.

"I think he may not realize it yet, but I think Sasuke wants to see you happy too." Sakura felt a faint heat touch her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered open, meeting Kakashi's.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said warmly. The copy-nin's eyes closed as he gave a genuine smile while releasing his grip on her, stepping back.

"My pleasure." He turned to leave when Sakura called out:

"Hey Kakashi-sensei!" Kakashi turned back to face her. "How would you like to officiate the wedding?"

 _Several hours later_

Sasuke made his way to his favorite training grounds, eager to burn off some energy in a way that was not scrubbing an entire house clean. When he arrived he saw the ground looked reminiscent of the aftermath of a powerful earthquake and multiple trees were toppled over.

" _What kind of crazy strength did this?"_ Sasuke thought to himself as he swiftly made his way to the next training ground.


End file.
